Most commonly used rejection techniques
Are you sick of having to think of easy yet considerate ways to reject someone? Is someone interested in you but you aren’t interested in them? Are you unsure of how to handle unwanted romantic advances made on you? Are you sitting by the phone every moment of the day, hoping for someone to confess to you just so that you could reject them but don’t know what to say when it happens? Look no further, this is the post for you!
For those who are lucky or unlucky enough to have another person advance non-mutual romantic intentions on them, they would know that it’s very difficult to be firm about their disinterest yet at the same time considerate of the other person’s feelings. From my own experiences and from others’ experiences, I have observed some of the most common “techniques”, perhaps I’d even go so far as to say “excuses”, not to date someone else.
I shall now discuss my findings in excruciating detail. I hope you find my love advice column helpful to your situation and follow my every advice step by step if you are confused and unsure of how to go about rejecting someone, even if you don’t agree with me. I watched a Youtube clip about psychiatry once, read a few fanfics about love, and meddled in the affairs of others numerous times, therefore I’m extremely experienced.
“I’m not interested in dating”
The aim of this line is to make the other person believe that you would reject everyone who would ask you out and not just that person, so that they don’t feel completely worthless – they’re just as worthless as everyone else, that’s all. Of course, this line is more accurately translated to “I’m not interested in dating you“, but you’re too nice and considerate to say that (to their face, anyway).
The only valid/believable reasons as to why someone genuinely is not interested in a relationship with anybody is because they are one or more of the following:
- Asexual (i.e. does not have the desire to mate with anyone of either gender, as opposed to heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, etc);
- Career driven. Meaningful relationships would only get in the way of more important things like lots of money, a nice house, a nice car and climbing corporate ladders to get more money, houses and cars;
- Thinking of being, in the process of being, or already are a priest, nun, brother, monk, Willy Wonka, or some other profession where romantic relationships are not allowed
- A nerd who is too focussed on studying and getting good grades to the extent they wouldn’t know how to handle the pressure of paying attention to another human being without getting anything lower than a high distinction average
If you are not any of these things and use the above line, you will most likely give off the impression that you are one of the above and you probably don’t want that.
Furthermore, this line may backfire when you actually find someone you do want to date (especially within a short period after you’ve used the line). This is because when the person you used it on finds out you’re with someone else, they will know you were just making up excuses. They will eventually come to the conclusion that you’re a liar, or alternatively just be extremely hurt because they’ll know they weren’t good enough for you and have the urge to kill you or themselves. Nice going, nice guy/girl.
If you’re going to use this line, at least try to add on “at the moment” to “I’m not interested in dating”. That way, you leave it ambiguous as to when you might resume your interest in a relationship, so that when you do find someone else, it’s not as bad. Still bad though. (But really, you may change your mind tomorrow … they won’t know that unless they ask you out every single day, which of course they won’t unless they’re a psychopath). Oh great, how did this post become a tutorial on how to deceive people…?
“I only see you as a friend”
Now, I’m not questioning the validity of people’s friendships – seeing someone as a friend, I believe, is a valid excuse because the other person just isn’t “romantically compatible” with you (possibly because of one or more of the following: they aren’t good-looking enough for you, there is something about their personality you don’t like, too old/young for you, you don’t agree with their stance on abortion/global warming/genocide/other issues, or some other unattractive feature). It’s only when someone attaches “It would ruin our friendship if we got together” or “It would be weird and awkward if we ever broke up” that I think is a load of crap because it’s just simply a stupid excuse (see this post for more details as to why).
“I only see you as a friend” is a nice and non-deameaning way to let someone down (I think) because they can join the dots themselves and by then, it’s not your problem anymore. You aren’t lying or deceiving them or trying to make excuses – you are telling the truth (albeit in a sugarcoated manner). I’m really trying to think of a con about this line, but in my opinion it’s the least problematic of all the lines in the world.
Of course, if you actually think the person who is making a move on you is an annoying, sleazy, selfish, stupid jerky jerk face (or bitchy bitch face for girls), and you don’t want anything to do with them – don’t use this line because the “friend” status entitles them to stick around and continue to annoy you. If they’re really just conceited or desperate, I believe you don’t need to consider their feelings if they don’t consider yours so don’t bother trying to sugarcoat rejection. Really, you are allowed to choose your friends. Don’t tell someone you see them as a friend if what you really mean is you see them as an annoying stick in your spleen.
Also, rejecting someone may leave them very emotionally unbalanced if they really liked you. Even if you did say you only see them as a friend and think to yourself “Hey, friends talk to each other, right? I’m going to invite them over and we can do each other’s hair!”, I think you should respect them and let them talk to you when they’re ready. You have plenty of other friends. Go annoy one of them instead.
Not doing anything/stall tactics
The only pro for this is that you get out of doing something hard and can keep up with the charade that nothing happened. Yes, continuing on like you’re still friends and pretending that things aren’t weird will work for a little while and hanging onto this false sense of security is great. But I guess this means that if your dog died, you’d still keep feeding it and taking its corpse for walks around the park, right? As long as everything’s fine in your head, it’s fine for everyone else, right? RIGHT????
When you are doing nothing and stalling after someone confesses their love to you, it’s like you’re a doctor saying “I will now open this envelope of test results to reveal to you whether you have terminal cancer or not… later”, putting the envelope in their pocket and talking about other things like the weather.
Cutting off all contact as a sign of rejection
Well, I guess if you were to sever all forms of communication with someone following a confession, they’d get the hint right? It’s kind of like a job application, right? You send it in, if they don’t reply to you it means you didn’t get it … right?
I think that’s a pretty cowardly way of rejecting someone. Grow a pair and reject them like you mean it!! With words! Everyone deserves an answer after they mustered up the courage to ask you out – you could at least acknowledge that and muster the courage to tell the truth. As you can tell, I am a big fan of telling the truth.
Conclusion
I hope next time you reject someone, you’ll think of your words and actions carefully. There’s no clean way to reject someone. If you don’t like any of the above tips for rejecting someone, you can always take Homer Simpson’s rejection approach: “Three simple words: I am gay” (or if you’re gay, “Three simple words: I am straight”).
Feel free to suggest any other techniques that I haven’t already mentioned.
Let’s change our Facebook profile pictures to encourage child abuse
At first, I was a little confused as to why everyone had been changing their Facebook profile pictures to cartoon characters, until I saw the “official” reason as to why people were doing it:
“Change your Facebook profile picture to a cartoon from your childhood and invite your friends to do the same. Until Monday (Dec.6) there should be no human faces on Facebook, but an invasion of memories. This is for violence against children.”
First of all … the instructions say this is for violence against children. It does not say “for raising awareness”, “for a fight against”, or anything in relation to combatting child abuse. It simply says for violence against children. So basically, everyone is changing their profile pictures to show their support for people abusing children, if the above instruction is to be taken. I’m pretty sure all the pedophiles and child beaters out there are rejoicing right now because their evil ploy has worked to brainwash people into supporting their cause.
“But Doro, it’s pretty obvious that they meant it was supposed to be against violence against children. You’re just being a kill joy and taking everything too literally,” I hear someone say. Well, that’s just what I like to do.
- This is my picture for violence against children
Anyway, let’s just pretend that this campaign was for a fight against child abuse. I don’t understand how a bunch of people on the internet posting up pictures of their favourite childhood cartoon is going to do anything for the children getting beaten. Do you really think pedophiles and people who beat their kids are going to think, “Oh no! A bunch of random people are posting up pictures of make-believe characters!! I better stop abusing these kids before something happens!!!” Ohhh, why didn’t the police and prosecutors think of this earlier. The authorities truly do underestimate the power of Facebook.
In addition to not doing anything to stop the violence, how is posting a bunch of one’s childhood memories helping the actual children who are getting abused? Effectively, people are just saying “This is a wonderful memory from my childhood. You wouldn’t know anything about enjoying childhood though, because you were too busy getting abused. I hope you’re jealous right now”. Great job, everyone!
And of course the third possibility of this enigmatic campaign – to raise awareness. This part pretty much failed because I, and many other people, had no idea why everyone began changing their pictures to begin with. Furthermore, everyone knows child abuse exists. This isn’t raising awareness in any way, because it offers no factual information whatsoever and absolutely no information is given on how one could actually do something to help those in need. Because really, how many people are you helping by changing your profile picture? None.
My point is — this whole thing is purely for fun. Yes, it is for fun that people are changing their profile pictures. It is for fun that I’m actually looking at these pictures and saying “Oh, I remember that!” And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having fun. What annoys me is that someone felt the need to justify this fun by attaching “This is for child abuse”, as if adding some kind of noble cause to the end of something will compel more people to take part in their trend. I bet you didn’t know that this game started in Greece but had little popularity, so then some person stole it and just attached the “This is for child abuse” and spread it around which caused it to be as big as it is now.
People, it’s okay to have fun – you don’t need a good ’cause’ to have fun. It would be like me going out and getting smashed on a Friday night, feeling guilty about it, then saying “I did it for all the starving kids in Africa”. My point is that people shouldn’t have fun and participate in the game under the pretense of helping someone out, either for the reason of inflating their own ego because they’re under the impression they’re actually helping or merely because they want to justify their fun. Anybody who genuinely feels that they’ve made a difference by participating in this game needs to wake up.
The idea of the game was good, until some idiot decided to take advantage of other people’s misfortunes in order to popularise and spread their trend around. I’m not hating on the people who participated, I’m hating on the actual trend because it is trivialising the plight of those abused children and becoming an excuse to spread a Facebook trend.
PS: I don’t care if no one agrees with me. By all means, I welcome any opinion of the contrary. If anyone can give me a reason as to how this trend is helping anyone in the slightest, I would like to hear it.
EDIT: On a serious and less satirical note, seeing as how this post has been pretty much useless and was written for pure reading enjoyment (and drawing people’s attention away from a Facebook fad and thinking about what they’re actually doing which was my intention to begin with), please do your part in actually addressing the problem. Preventing child abuse should go beyond 6 December and satisfying yourself with nostalgic feelings isn’t really helping anybody: http://www.napcan.org.au/
Why do people pretend to be siblings?
Isn’t it just so cutesy wutsey when two of the bestest fwends are sooo close that they pretend that they’re siblings? I noticed that a lot of teenagers and even people in their early twenties (especially Asians) tend to do this as some kind of way to brag about the degree of closeness in their friendship. Variations also include “godbrothers and godsisters”, despite the fact that the people who adopt these titles may not even be Christian.
I of course refer to the occurences between a male and female who feel lonely and can’t get boyfriends/girlfriends, but don’t want to get together with each other (well, at least one of them doesn’t) so they try to fill this void by playing make-believe that they’re related to each other.
I also notice that this sometimes occurs when a guy or girl is rejected by the person they like. The rejecter kind of feels bad for hurting the other’s feelings, and in a feeble attempt to make things less awkward or to relieve them of them of the guilt, they say “I see you more like a brother/sister”. The rejectee feels ecstatic that their existence is at least acknowledged, and the feeling of elation is heightened because a sibling relationship is considered a close relationship.
The rejectee then thinks “This is going to be the best I’ll get so I’ll agree to this charade and refer to the other person has ‘bro’ or ‘sis’ from now on to reinforce what they said and constantly remind them that they’re stuck with me, because you can’t divorce your siblings. Never mind that I’m still in love with them and making myself their sibling necessarily means I’m into incest, I just feel so privileged to be given this opportunity! And maybe since I’ll be so close to them, they might realise how great I am and change their mind about being in a romantic relationship with me! I’m a genius!!!!”
So your Facebook profile says these are all your siblings eh?
I don’t think the person realises that sibling status is actually a downgrade in the ‘romance’ department. The explanation is simple: being shoved into a sibling category is like a quick fix because nobody dates their siblings, except Tasmanians. It’s pretty funny that some people don’t realise that when they’re told “I see you as a brother/sister”, the other person is basically saying “Going out with you would be a complete crime against nature, not to mention illegal and utterly disgusting and never in my life would I do it.” Take the hint. You should not be honoured and happy that someone has said this to you, you should be offended.
And then of course there are the two people who may not necessarily have any romantic tension, but just feel that they’re close enough to call each other siblings, so they just constantly refer to each other as “bro” and “sis”. They also find it an excuse to say “Aww I love you, my wonderful brother”, or “Sis, you’re the best, I love you so much” when they do nice things for each other without coming off as flirtatious.
News flash – real siblings do not do this!!! If you have real siblings, you would know that there is a lot of bickering, insulting, teasing, even physical violence. I have never ever told my siblings that I “love” them because that would just be weird and wrong. Also, siblings have to live with each other, see each other every day, and deal with how embarrassing they are.
And then there are the self-proclaimed “godsis and godbro” people, and of course trust Asian teeny boppers to come up with this. This has annoyed me since high school, and apparently Asian teenagers still do this today. It appears some people like to adopt their friends of the opposite gender as ‘godsiblings’, which is some kind of teeny bopper gangsta lingo for “I’ve got your back if you ever get into ‘trouble’ *cough*”. If a girl feels threatened by someone, she’ll say “Shut up or I’ll call my godbros!!”, hoping that the threatener will immediately become scared and cease to annoy her. Just once, I’d love to see the scene continue to play out where some scrawny little Asian kid with a tight singlet and bleached hair comes out of nowhere with his fists held high and says “In the name of God and with all the power vested in me as a godbro, stop harrassing my godsis!!!!”
I’m not saying I have anything against people who love and appreciate each other. By all means, do so. But in my opinion, it is completely unnecessary to do it under the pretense of sibling love. You are not siblings. You are friends. And declaring yourselves as siblings does not make you siblings. Really, what is so wrong with the title of being friends, best friends, or close friends? It’s not good enough so you have to play pretend? I mean, that would be just like me saying “I love my pet rat, he’s my brother because we’re soo close and he’s always there for me…”
I don’t really have a problem with someone saying someone is “like” a brother/sister, because that means they’re demonstrating that they understand brothers/sisters lived in the same uterus for 9 months and share similar DNA. I’m sure a lot of only children are very lonely and would like to say that someone is “like” a sibling.
It’s just those people who appear to be deluded by saying that someone is their brother or sister or referring to someone as their brother or sister when they aren’t that annoys me.
Also, what’s up with people who list half of their Facebook friends as their siblings? If we wanted to know who your friends are, we’d look at your friend list. Efficient stalking is just too damn difficult when there are 15+ people on one’s sibling list.
I’m better than you because I liked something first
There’s always some obnoxious person thinking they’re better than everyone else because they liked or heard about something before that something became popular. For example, after a song becomes very popular or gets played on the radio, or if someone they know starts liking a song, some person will always say “I heard this song ages ago! Jeez, you’re so slow!” or “I liked this song before everyone started liking it!”
Well, here’s a news flash, buddy, no one gives a shit.
Honestly, no one thinks you’re any cooler just because you sit behind your computer and monitor the interwebs for something good to happen so that you can claim that you heard of or liked it first. The fact that you’re bragging about how much better you are because you liked something first proves that you’re an insecure tool who feels the need to be recognised and praised for some illusionary achievement.
Congratulations, I award you the prize of me rolling my eyes at you because you are so arrogant.
I think the worst part of it is that these people have the audacity to look down on others who also like that thing, just because they liked it first. Did they ever stop to think that other people are allowed to like the same things as them? Just because you liked or were informed of something first does not mean that you own that thing, and that no one else is allowed to like it.
Seriously, just because someone found out about something later does not make them any less of a fan. And it certainly doesn’t mean that they’re inferior to the person/people who liked it before it became popular.
With this logic, I think I’d have to say sorry to all you Harry Potter, Twilight, Far East Movement, Elvis, Youtube viral video, [other popular things] fans, the fact that you were not the first person to like this franchise/thing, or the fact that you didn’t find out about it earlier doesn’t make you a true fan. You might as well stop claiming that you like it because someone else beat you to it. Oh yeah, and I guess anyone who isn’t Christian within 20 years after Christ died isn’t a true Christian either.
And then there are those people who stop liking something just because it became popular and more people started like it. Are people really that insecure that they feel the need to be non-conformist and ‘unique’ at any cost, no matter what? This just proves that you didn’t really like that thing to begin with, and that the only reason why you did like it was because no one else knew what it was and you felt some kind of self-worth and a sense of importance by liking it.
Tools.
Sooo… Glee, eh….
Season 2 of Glee is back on TV in Australia and I have to admit that I do follow this show and I enjoy it for its strange humour and its renditions of popular songs. However, I don’t know if I’m the only one who feels this but sometimes I just feel it’s just … odd. And now we all know what to do when something is weird or different – we hate it and throw rocks at it/them. But to be fair and to make myself look like less of a contentious and arrogant bitch, I’ll also post about why I like Glee (unfortunately these reasons are qualified. Also, if you don’t watch Glee then you probably won’t get this post so you might as well stop reading now. Or you can keep reading and confuse yourself, up to you).
Reasons to like Glee
1. It’s clever and funny, sometimes: When the show’s not busy trying to convey some convoluted, cheesy storyline or concentrating on people bursting into song, it can be quite clever and quirky. I think I speak for everyone when I say I love Sue’s in-your-face personality and how she has wonderful ways of expressing hatred for everything. This show needs more hatred. If it weren’t for Sue, I think I’d die from choking on the amount of cheese that’s being shoved down my throat from this show (more on this later).
2. The songs: This should be everyone’s main reason for watching the show. I don’t know how people can complain that there are too many songs, because this is just like complaining about how a football match has too much football (yes, I am guilty of this). I like how they put a nice spin on some songs and make everything all happy and poppy and ‘weeee everything is dandy’.
3. It’s … multicultural?: Okay, so I ran out of reasons to like Glee as you can see and am just scourging now. I like how they try to reflect real society. If you ask me, I’m sick of seeing caucasian people on TV all the time. Glee is kinda like Noah’s ark – they have two of every ‘species’ of human. Two Jews, two Asians, two black people (even though the black guy mysteriously disappeared this season), two blondes, etc … now we just need Middle Eastern, Hispanic, another cripple and another gay guy.
4. Mike Chang’s abs. The following picture will speak for itself.
We need more of this.
Reasons to dislike Glee
1. Corn with a side of cheese that tries to teach us an insightful lesson: I’m so sorry Glee fangirls and fanboys (or should I say Gleeks… cue rolling of the eyes), but the amount of cheesiness on this show makes me sick. What’s worse is that the show is trying to use this cheesiness to teach the viewers a lesson about life and attempts to be insightful. I’ll use the Britney Spears episode as an example: Rachel realises that she shouldn’t try to control Finn by making him choose her over football, and she makes a heart-warming speech about why she was wrong in front of the entire class. It was something along the lines of “Oh Finn, I was wrong and I love you so much and I know you’re a little bird or something but I shouldn’t hold you so tightly because that’ll suffocate you, so I’m going to dedicate this song to you and cry at the same time to make it seem like I actually give a shit” *bursts into Paramore, even though the song does not reflect the situation at all*.
Ok, so it’s great she learns a lesson and all but does she really need to spell it out to us in excruciating, flowery detail that she did? It’s quite clear from the circumstances prior to this scene that she has learnt her lesson. Also, is it really necessary for her to make a big spectacle about it? What kind of a sixteen-year-old would honestly give a speech about how she blackmailed her boyfriend in front of her entire club and in front of her teacher? Nobody! And why does everyone act so understanding and loving about it? It’s like they intentionally made it so unrealistically lame so that we can notice that she’s learned a lesson from all this!
The show is absolutely riddled with this type of thing. Another instance was when Quin realises that Mercedes is actually an okay person despite the fact that she’s fat. Snore. How unbearably cliché. I don’t disagree with the message they’re trying to put out but when they make the message painfully obvious by saying “I realised I shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, and just because you’re fat doesn’t mean you’re not a nice person”, it just kind of defeats the purpose of trying to make the viewers learn a lesson. I mean, you’re not really learning it if you have to be told how to think – isn’t it much more effective to realise something on your own?
The show fails in this aspect because it makes me feel I’m watching Sesame Street or something in that it has tell me that “Judging people is wrong!” – the audience isn’t a bunch of three-year-olds, I’m quite sure they already know that judging people is wrong – they just need a more personable and effective illustration of it so that they can actually stop and think, rather than spew about it.
2. The songs!!: Alright, so not the songs themselves, but the amount of autotune that the songs employ just kills the songs. Yes, I understand that it’s pop music and everyone uses autotune in this day and age, but surely the singers can’t be that bad. I mean, it’s not a CD that we’re listening to – it’s meant to be a realistic portrayal of people randomly bursting into song. Might I also add that the autotune on Emma’s voice makes her sound terrible.
3. Break of flow of the story, poor plotline altogether, spouts of randomness: Okay, if you’re watching Glee solely for its intense and meaningful storyline then I’m going to assume you read Twilight for its intense and meaningful storyline too. I know that the main focus isn’t meant to be story, but sometimes I don’t even know what I’m watching when I’m watching Glee. The storyline can be quite erratic, and, well … random, to be honest. The first half of season one was quite good with the story, but then after a while it was like they just got lazy and just strung a bunch of lines together to make it seem like something was happening.
I also thought the same thing after episode one of the current season – I thought, “Yay, something for a change!” but I think I spoke too soon. Seriously, there was a whole episode was based on trippy hallucinations about Britney Spears. If that’s not random enough, the fact that they all have to go to the dentist for unclear reasons (you know, since having the school councillor’s boyfriend coming to school to check up on Glee club’s teeth is just so normal) to get these hallucinations pretty much makes it officially random. I was left a bit perplexed at the end of the episode because I felt like I wasted an hour of my life. If I wanted to watch people get high and dance around sluttily, I’d step out into my backyard.
Oh, and it’s pretty annoying how they just leave really crucial elements of the story hanging at the end of one episode and then not go back to it for another three or four episodes. For example, the thing with Terry’s ‘fake’ pregnancy, and Emma and the football coach’s wedding last season – it was as if they wrote this in, forgot about it and did other things, and then one of the writers thought “Oh shit, we forgot about them” and went back to it later. What’s even worse is that everyone around them seems to have forgotten about these things as well!
A recent example would be Puck’s disappearance - literally, it was like “Hey where’s Puck? Oh he’s in jail for stealing an ATM? Oh okay, fair enough.” And that was the last we heard of him, as if one of the mains getting sent to jail happened every week or something.
4. Rachel: SHE’S JUST SO ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!!! I think this is the point but … God, I hope she gets hit by a bus or something because she annoys me to the point where I want to throw something at my television screen. Seriously, nobody can be this annoying in real life, can they?! Also, she makes strange faces when she hits high notes…
(PS: So, did anyone notice I tried using more visual aids in this post to make it seem more like a real blog? No? Fine, I tried.)
Life is not a romantic comedy
You know what’s amazing? When some girls think that life has to be romantic. No, when they expect it to be romantic. I’ve touched on this topic in an older post but this current post is directed more at the idea that women/girls think that they will find the perfect man who will ruthlessly shower her with cheesy and corny things. As I’ve learned (well, more like assumed), not every creature of the male species prioritises ‘inducing swoons from saying and doing thoughtful/lame things’ on their to-do list.
There are so many annoying movies and dramas out there like The Notebook that induces the belief in innocent movie-viewers that one day, some drop-dead gorgeous man will appear miraculously out of some unlikely scenario (such as getting stuck in a lift, getting saved by a gang of creepy men, or bumping into each other on another planet), and sweep the woman off her feet. Life is not a romantic comedy, nor is it a Korean drama. People should stop waiting for something exciting to happen because it won’t. Often, the most seemingly mundane of people will end up being the best person you’ll ever meet because, well, they are real.
And I know people say that movies are based off some shred of universal reality. But I think people, particularly girls, need to realise that fiction is a means of escape from reality – it’s not necessarily a true reflection of reality. I mean, how many guys that you had just met a month or two ago will love you enough to donate his corneas to you in the unlikely event that you develop eye cancer somehow? How many guys are going to serenade you under the moonlight by a lake in order to ask for a date?
For crying out loud, movies are not a guideline of what to expect out of life. Are you sitting around and expecting a letter in the mail telling you that you’ve been accepted at Hogwarts? Do you think you’re going to get bitten by a spider one day and develop super powers? Do you believe that if you follow the yellow brick road, you’re going to meet a wizard who’ll send you back home? If you answered yes to any of these, then by all means, please keep believing that men are romantic and sensitive 24/7, and keep believing that a flawless guy is going to come into your life on a magical unicorn. I’m afraid you’re going to be alone forever, and you deserve to be alone if you’re naive enough to think movies and dramas are standards for people to live up to.
The truth of the matter is, the majority of guys don’t think about new ways of being romantic. They have other things to worry about, like food. And I think I personally prefer it that way. If a guy did thoughtful and romantic things for me every waking moment, I would just choke on all the cheese that he is shoving down my throat. Don’t get me wrong, I do like thoughtfulness but only once in a while, in such a way that I can actually appreciate it.
Oh over-sensitivity is not attractive – if a girl tells you she wants a sensitive guy, she lies. No girl in her right mind wants a guy who cries constantly over how much he loves her, and how beautiful their love is. Girls already have a pussy, they don’t need another one (Adam and Andrew reference).
And besides, isn’t it much nicer to just have fun with your significant other, and when the time calls for it, show each other how much you care? It’s kind of like raising children – be cruel to them as much as legally possible so that when you show compassion, they’ll appreciate you a lot more.
Girls do not stick pads onto their vaginas!!!
This post is dedicated to LT4, Rosalyn, and my sister. Sorry if I seem crude in this post, but I’m going to be blunt and straightforward rather than beating around the bush about anything. Also, I will be quite graphic so if talking about ordinary human functions or talking about females disturbs you for some reason, I suggest you close this window.
I had quite a long and interesting conversation with some guys and girls today, which involved mythbusting about girls. One misconception that was brought forward was that when girls have their periods, they stick pads onto their vaginas. I was so shocked that someone could even suggest this that I almost cake-faced myself (literally). I thought it was just them, so I went home and asked some more guys about where they thought girls stuck their pads – and they said the same thing!! I will say it loud and clear right now to educate all you boys and men:
WOMEN STICK PADS ONTO THEIR UNDERWEAR.
No, not their vaginas. No, not the skin around their groin. No, not their legs. And lastly, they do not stick the pads up their vaginas. They stick it to THEIR UNDERWEAR. The adhesive sticks to the underwear and the laws of gravity keeps it there! It makes more sense, doesn’t it?!!??
How does it make any sense to have some adhesive sticking to your groin? I don’t know if guys registered this, but having period pains is painful enough, we don’t need to wax ourselves every 6 hours!! Also, I don’t know about you but the idea of adhesive, blood and hair just sounds a little bit too disgusting…
AND it does not make any sense that we stick the adhesive onto the groin and have the fabric part facing the underwear. I’m sure that adhesive is pretty damn absorbent, isn’t it!!! I mean, we might as well just get a bunch of duct tape, stick it to ourselves, and then cushion it with some tissues underneath just for extra comfort – but the extra comfort would be pretty meaningless since, well, YOU HAVE DUCT TAPE ON YOUR VAGINA.
Also, if you were to stick the pad onto the sides of your legs, how would you walk?? All I can imagine is a girl walking like a penguin because the wings don’t stretch far enough. The wings on the pad are for sticking to the underwear, not to the legs or anything else. I mean, those would have to be pretty massive wings to be able to stick to your legs comfortably…
And finally, if you have eyes and have seen a pad, you will know that you definitely cannot stick something that shape and size up there. In fact, this idea is just so ridiculous that I’m going to stop writing this post right now and go stick my head in an oven.
I like to pretend I have low self esteem
Don’t you just love those people who put themselves down for the sole purpose of having people argue with them so that they can feel some kind of self worth? Whilst I admit that there are people who do it just to take the piss and have a laugh about it, there’s quite a distinct group of persons who feel the need to mope about how crap they are in the hope that someone will pity them.
For example, there are those people who post photos of themselves on Facebook and then when people compliment them, they say “Noooo I’m so ugly and disgusting and my eyeballs self destruct when I see myself”. If you’re so ugly and gross, why did you even post them in the first place?! Is it because you feel the need to remind everyone of how hideous you are, and because you actually enjoy making people vomit because of how utterly revolting your face is?!?!
Wait, what’s that you say? “I’m just being humble” or “I’m just being modest”? I think my bullshit detector is going off because essentially what you’re saying is “I’m posting hot pictures of myself, not because I want people to compliment me, but because I want to insult myself in order to show off to everyone how humble I can be.when they do compliment me. And the only way to do that is to put myself out there and cover up my own arrogance by putting myself down.” Firstly, if you’re going to hate on yourself and tell everyone you’re disgusting, we don’t need contradictory evidence so why not just bag yourself out without the raunchy photos? I’m sure more people will believe you. Secondly, correct me if I’m wrong, but openly bragging about how modest you are somewhat defeats the purpose of being modest.
And then there are those lovely people who post about how depressed they are on Facebook or have personal messages on their MSN saying things like “Pissed off”, “Not in the mood” etc. This isn’t what annoys me, per se, but the thing that does annoy me is that whenever someone asks “What’s wrong?” or “Do you want to talk about it?”, they will say “No” or “Nothing is wrong” or “Don’t worry”.
What is the point of advertising how depressed/mad you are if you don’t want anyone to know about it? This is pretty much like me going to a shop to ask about a shiny new computer I saw advertised on TV, only to have the store clerk refuse to tell me anything about it and proceed to tell me to rack off. Now, I’m not doubting that these people may genuinely be sad, but it just doesn’t make sense that they would effectively tell everyone that they’re sad but at the same time not want anyone to know it.
Not only is it offensive to have my concern thrown back in my face, but now I’m faced with the awkward situation of having to decide whether I keep up this ‘concern’ thing or whether I just stop trying. Because honestly, the only real reason I can think of as to why people would blatantly admit that they’re upset only to deny it is to create some kind of curiosity and worry in everyone else. Before anyone can argue that “it’s a way of expressing their feelings”, I say if they really didn’t want anyone to know about it, why can’t they just approach a close friend or two about it? Or open up a word document and type it out? Or talk to a brick wall? No matter how you look at it, there really is some desperate cry for attention whenever someone publicly rants about how annoyed they are [*cough*, this is not what I'm doing at all, OKAY???]
Though in all seriousness, if you don’t want someone to know something or see something – don’t post it on the internet!!! It’s actually a very simple solution. But if you secretly do want people to know or see something relating to your problems, there are much better ways of getting over them other than publicly advertising them all over the internet, because the reality is, most people don’t give a rat’s arse.
Should girls make the first move?
Who do you think should make the first move when initiating a relationship? Everyone is afraid of rejection, but who is more afraid? Or is the better question, who is better at handling rejection? Or maybe the question is, why should a girl/guy make the first move? I think a lot of people would say “a guy should because that’s just the way it is”, but I’m sitting on the fence with this one, so here is a balanced, neutral*cough*, and succinct discussion of who should make the first move.
Disclaimer: I know I’m generalising so you aren’t doing me a favour by pointing it out.
Reasons why guys should make the first move (aka reasons why girls should NOT make the first move):
1. Girls are proud.
You think girls like admitting weakness? (Yes, liking someone is a weakness, there, I said it. They use it in all the Disney and superhero movies, so hah it must be true). Girls don’t like to leave any possible room for rejection, because this is a great blow to her pride, so it’s unlikely that they will make the first move. A girl’s pride is like much like a lion’s – hurt her pride and you are dead to her. Figuratively speaking, of course… *shifty eyes*
Also, girls are very emotional. We tend to think about things a little too much. I’ll let you figure out the rest on your own.
2. Girls are lazy.
I know a lot of people would argue that guys are lazy, but honestly, guys ask yourself this: how many times has a girl asked (correction, demanded) you to: hold her bags when shopping, drive her places because she can’t be bothered walking/driving herself/getting her own damn licence, give her a piggyback for distances that don’t require a car, open doors for her, be her bodyguard, pay for stuff, feed her, or finish her sentences? As you can see, if she can’t even be bothered walking from point A to B, what makes you think she’ll want to confess her love to a guy? That’s just so much effort that can be used on something else like, say, shopping or sleeping.
3. It’s a guy’s duty.
Call it traditional, overly romantacised, naive, unfair stereotyping, whatever. A lot of girls expect guys to make the first move. Hell, even a lot of guys feel like it’s their job to come to ask a girl out. It’s kind of like a marriage proposal (or witch hunt) – it’s the man’s job to seek the woman. Guys should fight for what they want, if they really want it. I mean, if guys can tackle and hurt each other over a ball in <insert sport>, I’m sure it’s not that much more strenuous to ask a girl out, right?
Reasons as to why girls should make the first move:
1. Guys are thick-headed/a little slow.
…Unless it comes to cars, sports or games. I’ve noticed that 99% of the time, guys wouldn’t be able to tell if a girl liked them unless it was literally spelt out for them. Actually, I don’t even know if this would work because they are that thick. A lesson that I’ve learnt when it comes to guys: subtle hints don’t work. Obvious hints don’t work. VERY obvious hints don’t work. Just tell them what you want, because you might be waiting a while (i.e. forever).
2. Break the stereotype.
Aren’t you feminists sick of being told that men have all the power? Who decided that it’s a man’s job to seek out their love?! Why do they get to choose who/when to date someone?! Take matters into your own hands and woMAN up! Girls have just as much guts as guys do, right?! YEAH! GIRL POWER!
But seriously, I respect girls who break the stereotype and take things into their own hands instead of just waiting around helplessly for something that might not even happen. What’s this idea that Prince Charming will one day find you and sweep you off your feet in a supermarket or some other kind of modern-day romantic setting? Puh-lease, this isn’t Hollywood, this is real life. It’s called being realistic, being in control of your life, not wasting time, handling your own emotions, and moving forward instead of staying still. People should try it.
3. Guys find it attractive.
Well I’m not too sure if this one is true or if my male friends were just lying to me in my time of advice-needing to shut me up, but apparently guys find it attractive when a girl demonstrates confidence. Even if he ends up rejecting her, he will forever like that confident part of her. I can’t expand on this too much because I simply cannot comprehend the logic (my take on it is this: “You’re confident and that makes you sexy but not sexy enough for me to want to date you, perhaps because there are so many other things wrong with you, in which case I actually don’t find you sexy at all and hence the idea of you being attractive has become obsolete, okay bye”), but for argument’s sake, let’s assume it’s true. (Anyone, feel free to explain this logic to me.)
Yeah.
