The friendzone is a lie

From urbandictionary.com:

FRIEND ZONE

1) A myth based on a lie straight women tell their ugly straight male friends as a less hurtful way of rejecting their sexual advances. It is said that if a man doesn’t immediately make his romantic intentions known that the woman will forever consider him a friend. He is then said to be in the “friend zone.”

Julie: “Fred’s a nice guy, but he’s kinda fat and ugly, so when he asked me out, I told him I didn’t want to risk ruining our friendship. I mean, maybe if he lost a few pounds…”
Nancy: “Good idea. That way his feelings aren’t hurt. You really sidestepped that one.”

2) A very frustrating and very shitty place to be. More commonly experienced by men than women. Mostly becuase of the fact that men are comfortable with being in a relationship/fucking a friend, where women will piss and moan about not wanting to ruin a frendship, somehow overlooking the fact that guys already have friends, and so do they. Stupid bitches.

C’mon, you know it’s true. But it’s not true that only girls do it to guys – guys do it to girls all the time.

I think the friend zone is just like a story on Today Tonight: the substance fundamentally exists, but it’s a load of crap and only a moron would believe the manner in which its being told to you. For example:

A says: “It’ll be awkward if we break up.”
B thinks: “Yeah, because you rejecting me and me feeling completely humiliated isn’t awkward at all. I forgive you, let’s go have some ice cream and forget this ever happened!”

A says: “I just see you as a friend and always will.”
Translation: “I don’t like you and never in hell would I date you.”

A says: “But I really appreciate that you told me.”
Translation: “I’m really just saying this to make you feel less stupid than you are. In fact, I wish you never told me so I that I don’t have to put up with this horrendously awkward situation.”

A says: “I know you must hate me right now, but I still want to be friends with you.”
B thinks: “Yes, because I’m friends with all the people that I hate. I mean, Hitler is a bit of an ass but I’m cool with being friends with him because he asked me nicely.”

Not being attracted to someone is something I can understand, but when you say “I don’t want to ruin our friendship” or “It’ll be akward if we break up”, it’s just blatantly obvious you’re trying to soften the blow but miserably failing. Really, if  you were truly good friends, a break up will be awkward at first but it won’t get in the way of the friendship down the line. Don’t mask your selfish desire to not be seen as a jerk/bitch with the facade of caring about friendship.

If you cared about friendship, why didn’t you consider that rejecting them would ruin the friendship? Because ruining a friendship as long as you don’t have to be with someone is a lot better than ruining a friendship over a relationship breakdown is a lot better, is it? Yes, real thoughtful of you!

The bottom line is: don’t say you don’t want to be with someone because you’re afraid of ruining a friendship. It’s demeaning and it makes you look like an asshole.

Yeah, I’m not cynical at all.

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About lildoro

I'm a uni student who procrastinates way too much. I like saying stuff about things.

Posted on February 24, 2010, in Biased opinions about relationships, Mindless Dribble and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. bahaha that really did make me LOL

  2. Who cares if some guy thinks the worst of a girl? I use to be caring but after having to endure so much BS from men, I don’t give an eff. It’s simple ladies, if you don’t like a guy, TELL HIM STRAIGHT UP. Unless they get turned on, like in my case, and think you’re playing hard to get… Well then you could say what I told this one guy: “let’s say there was a fire in the building? if I could help you escape, I wouldn’t”. It sounds terrible to say and you’ll probably make the guy cry and hate your guts, but it worked for me therefore it might work for you girls.

  1. Pingback: So I hear you got friendzoned « - ` lil doro says:

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