Stupid Facebook Fanpages for Stupid People

I’m enough of a Facebook addict to see all the types of fan pages and groups on Facebook. Some are quite useful (to get updates and to know about events and whatnot), some are funny/amusing (a good one I saw recently was “I stepped on a cornflake, now I’m a cereal killer”), some are relatable, and some are just stupid.

Now, stupid is just a really broad term because there are so many levels of stupid. I’ll go through each category of ‘stupid fanpage’ that I’ve observed:

1) “Become a fan and receive a free iPod touch!”

iPod touch can be varied to other expensive items. In the past, I’ve noticed people inviting to join groups/become fans of pages for free iPads, Macbooks, iPhones … (hmm, they’re all Apple products. Perhaps only Apple fans are stupid enough to fall for these pages? Kidding…) I don’t’ even want to begin to wonder how anyone could possibly think that Apple, a multimillion dollar company that derives 100% of its profits from people actually purchasing their products, would consider giving out a free <whatever> to every single fan that joins.

I’m sure Apple didn’t realise that over 400 million people use Facebook, and they didn’t bother calculating that if even 1% of Facebook users ‘became a fan’ of that page then they would be potentially losing hundreds of millions of dollars. Does it not occur to people that businesses make money by being greedy?

No wonder people fall for telemarketing and phishing scams so often. If you’re dumb enough to think that there’s such thing as a free lunch, then you deserve to get conned.


I admit I fell for this the first time I saw a page like this because I’m just a gullible idiot. I actually facepalmed myself when I realised that there was really nothing there. This so-called funny picture, funny fact, or other thing that is supposedly funny is a lie.

But at least I’m a gullible idiot that eventually learned – why do people constantly join these pages, believing that maybe this time there actually will be something? If different people told you “The sky will be purple if you do a backflip and sacrifice 52 virgins to me”, would you keep doing it until it actually happened? No, you wouldn’t. So I don’t get why people keep joining these pages, hoping that they will actually get something out of it.

And the  few times that there really is something, it’s not even that funny. Seriously, anyone who precedes a sentence with ‘OMG THIS IS SO FUNNY’ is being a bit pretentious, don’t you think? I like that quote that shitmydadsays had the other day: “”Don’t start a story with This is SO funny. Be like saying My dick’s huge before you screw. Even if you’re right you sound like an asshole.”

3) “Get the old Facebook back/Find out who has been visiting your profile/A small dancing monkey will appear on your desktop/Something else impossible!! Join this group to find out how!”

Now these people really are dumb. Especially because the instructions are something completely retarded like “copy this code into your ‘about  me’ section’, close your browser, log out of Facebook, restart your computer, open Facebook, invite all your friends’.That’s soooo h4x0r, isn’t it. How does anyone even make the connection that if they become a fan of something, they’ll be able to screw over the system? The bigshots at Facebook will only allow fans of some obscure page created by a bored thirteen year old kid to have the old system, right?

I think the stupidest thing about these pages is that the people who create these fanpages don’t even get anything out of it (unless they’re scammers who will use all fans’ details to spam them or something…). Seriously, if the subject of the fanpage doesn’t exist, then technically, the people who are ‘fans’ are being fans of nothing. For celebrities, products or something worthwhile/funny, it’s good to have a big fan base because they actually get something out of it, but what do the creators of pointless/fake pages get? “Yay, look at all these people who are fans of something that’s not real!” Yeah, big achievement.

If anything, they’re probably getting a laugh at how many people are stupid enough to believe what they claim. I can imagine if I was them, I’d be thinking “LAWLLLL 300,000 people actually believe I’ll give them a free iPhone. What idiots.”


About lildoro

I'm a uni student who procrastinates way too much. I like saying stuff about things.

Posted on March 31, 2010, in Mindless Dribble. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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