Poorly thought comebacks
I get into enough pointless/petty arguments about stupid things to hear the worst comebacks. Yes, you know what I’m talking about, those horrible generic comebacks that obnoxious people use when they get pwned, but to try to save their face, they add some nonsensical statement to get a few laughs out of other equally obnoxious people.
1) Your face/mum is ______!
A: “Your argument makes no sense, as the sky is in fact blue.”
B: “Your face is blue!!”
‘Your face is’ is interchangeably used with ‘Your mum is’ or ‘You are’, but it doesn’t matter what they use, they’re all equally as dumb. This ‘comeback’ has been more popular in recent years for some reason. Let’s just blame the internet because it’s easier.
Those who use this comeback often think they automatically win. Well, guess what genius, the fact that you just called my face blue doesn’t change the fact that you’re wrong. If bringing my face or my mother into an argument means that you win, then it’ll be a poor day for humanity when aliens invade earth if we think that yelling random things about the aliens’ faces and mothers will give us an auto-win.
Also, the fact that I roll my eyes without saying anything further after being told my face is blue doesn’t mean that you’re right, it means that I think you’re an idiot and won’t dignify your response with an answer. I mean, what the hell do you say to a person who eratically makes an inane statement about your face or your mum in an uncalled fashion? It’s pretty much like talking to a child suffering from tourettes. And you know what they say about that: just keep quiet or they might knife you.
2) Well that’s just YOUR opinion.
A: “Miley Cyrus can’t sing.”
B: “Well that’s just YOUR opinion.”
Thank you, captain obvious. I’m the one who said it, so who else’s opinion would it be? As Maddox says, “Any time you say something sucks around someone who disagrees, they try to validate their taste in shitty music/movies/clothing by reminding you that you still only speak for yourself, as if their opinions are in jeopardy of being monopolized by your own.” It’s true. Do these people really think that I don’t know that something of an opinionated nature that came out of my own mouth is actually my opinion?
3) Shut up and make me a sandwich/Shouldn’t you be in the kitchen?
I like kitchen and sandwich jokes as much as the next person who isn’t a feminist, but guys who say this are just obnoxious and self-absorbed. For one, you’re assuming that I know how to cook and this is just far too flattering because I wouldn’t even know how to grill a baby. A baby sheep, that is. So thanks, you’re actually making me out to be more talented than I really am.
Secondly, make your own damn sandwich. I’m a woman and I have needs too! That’s just YOUR opinion that I should be in the kitchen. In fact, your mum is make me a sandwich!