The paradox of being a nice person

Hi everybody! I didn’t realise it’s been such a long time since I last posted anything but I’m capped now and am going nuts out of my mind so much that I have to go on something that doesn’t have a shitload of graphics/sound/video/anything else fun – and my blog was the first thing I thought of.

Anyway, I was wondering, what is worse: a) disliking someone and letting them know how annoying they are or b) disliking someone and putting up with their bullshit, but complaining about it behind their back to other people?

Now we’re all human. There are people who annoy us and there are things that annoy us. You are either a liar or delusional if you tell me you don’t do either of these things. There is no way that you can tell me that you don’t dislike anyone/anything, and there is no way that you can tell me that you put up with someone/something and keep it to yourself forever. Otherwise, you’re just a serial killer waiting for the straw to break the donkey’s back before you go on a murderous rampage. It’s just like that episode of The Simpsons where Ned Flanders goes crazy because he doesn’t complain about anything his whole life (yes, everything can be related back to The Simpsons).

So now that we’ve established that everyone does one of these two, let’s now move onto the fact that both of these things are considered bad and mean, and that we shouldn’t do them. So honestly, what the hell are we supposed to do?

Option A involves honesty and guts, but you’re going to come off as an asshole. So you think someone smells bad, you think someone is weird, you think someone is annoying, you think someone talks too much, you think someone is a lying/backstabbing bitch (hmm this is starting to sound a bit like me…) and you just can’t stand it. Telling them this is just too cruel, isn’t it? Even though you’re being honest about it, I doubt you will get any good reactions or praise for saying it to their face. In fact, you’ll probably hurt that person’s feelings and that person, as well as everyone else, will think you are an asshole.

On the other hand, Option B means that if you don’t tell them that you don’t like them and instead put up with them, yet you vent your frustration and keep yourself sane by complaining/bitching about it to other people. The thing is, even if you do this as opposed to telling it to their face, you’re still socially considered an asshole! Because, you know, it’s not nice to talk badly about other people behind their backs. It’s not nice to gossip. So you just told one of your friends that you think one of your other friends tries too hard to amount to anything and has an attitude problem. Come on now, that’s just bitchy.

But wait, saying it to their face is bitchy too, isn’t it? Dammit, I’m so confused!! It seems like whatever I do, I’m considered a bitch!! Wait, what’s  that you say? “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything”? What? But we’re humans! Humans always have something not-nice to say! And who the heck lives by this advice anyway? Someone’s who’s had their voice box kicked, maybe.

So the bottom line is: we’re all bitches. It’s not possible to be a nice person within the context that I’ve just discussed. The real question is, what is considered more socially acceptable? Being honest and speaking your mind about how you dislike someone (and possibly getting punched in the face or looked down upon by others)? Or keeping your mouth shut to their face so as not to cause any trouble, but seeing as how it’s impossible to keep your mouth shut forever, you instead let out some steam by bitching about it to someone else?