Should girls make the first move?

Who do you think should make the first move when initiating a relationship? Everyone is afraid of rejection, but who is more afraid? Or is the better question, who is better at handling rejection? Or maybe the question is, why should a girl/guy make the first move? I think a lot of people would say “a guy should because that’s just the way it is”, but I’m sitting on the fence with this one, so here is a balanced, neutral*cough*, and succinct discussion of who should make the first move.

Disclaimer: I know I’m generalising so you aren’t doing me a favour by pointing it out.

Reasons why guys should make the first move (aka reasons why girls should NOT make the first move):

1. Girls are proud.

You think girls like admitting weakness? (Yes, liking someone is a weakness, there, I said it. They use it in all the Disney and superhero movies, so hah it must be true). Girls don’t like to leave any possible room for rejection, because this is a great blow to her pride, so it’s unlikely that they will make the first move. A girl’s pride is like much like a lion’s – hurt her pride and you are dead to her. Figuratively speaking, of course… *shifty eyes*

Also, girls are very emotional. We tend to think about things a little too much. I’ll let you figure out the rest on your own.

2. Girls are lazy.

I know a lot of people would argue that guys are lazy, but honestly, guys ask yourself this: how many times has a girl asked (correction, demanded) you to: hold her bags when shopping, drive her places because she can’t be bothered walking/driving herself/getting her own damn licence, give her a piggyback for distances that don’t require a car, open doors for her, be her bodyguard, pay for stuff, feed her, or finish her sentences? As you can see, if she can’t even be bothered walking from point A to B, what makes you think she’ll want to confess her love to a guy? That’s just so much effort that can be used on something else like, say, shopping or sleeping.

3. It’s a guy’s duty.

Call it traditional, overly romantacised, naive, unfair stereotyping, whatever. A lot of girls expect guys to make the first move. Hell, even a lot of guys feel like it’s their job to come to ask a girl out. It’s kind of like a marriage proposal (or witch hunt) – it’s the man’s job to seek the woman. Guys should fight for what they want, if they really want it. I mean, if guys can tackle and hurt each other over a ball in <insert sport>, I’m sure it’s not that much more strenuous to ask a girl out, right?

Reasons as to why girls should make the first move:

1. Guys are thick-headed/a little slow.

…Unless it comes to cars, sports or games. I’ve noticed that 99% of the time, guys wouldn’t be able to tell if a girl liked them unless it was literally spelt out for them. Actually, I don’t even know if this would work because they are that thick. A lesson that I’ve learnt when it comes to guys: subtle hints don’t work. Obvious hints don’t work. VERY obvious hints don’t work. Just tell them what you want, because you might be waiting a while (i.e. forever).

2. Break the stereotype.

Aren’t you feminists sick of being told that men have all the power? Who decided that it’s a man’s job to seek out their love?! Why do they get to choose who/when to date someone?! Take matters into your own hands and woMAN up! Girls have just as much guts as guys do, right?! YEAH! GIRL POWER!

But seriously, I respect girls who break the stereotype and take things into their own hands instead of just waiting around helplessly for something that might not even happen. What’s this idea that Prince Charming will one day find you and sweep you off your feet in a supermarket or some other kind of modern-day romantic setting? Puh-lease, this isn’t Hollywood, this is real life. It’s called being realistic, being in control of your life, not wasting time, handling your own emotions, and moving forward instead of staying still. People should try it.

3. Guys find it attractive.

Well I’m not too sure if this one  is true or if my male friends were just lying to me in my time of advice-needing to shut me up, but apparently guys find it attractive when a girl demonstrates confidence. Even if he ends up rejecting her, he will forever like that confident part of her. I can’t expand on this too much because I simply cannot comprehend the logic (my take on it is this: “You’re confident and that makes you sexy but not sexy enough for me to want to date you, perhaps because there are so many other things wrong with you, in which case I actually don’t find you sexy at all and hence the idea of you being attractive has become obsolete, okay bye”), but for argument’s sake, let’s assume it’s true. (Anyone, feel free to explain this logic to me.)



About lildoro

I'm a uni student who procrastinates way too much. I like saying stuff about things.

Posted on July 22, 2010, in Biased opinions about relationships, Mindless Dribble and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. lol hmm well I think there isn’t anything wrong with either one making the move BUT having said that I’ve never asked someone out. The best I did was tell them that I liked them more than a friend and left the rest up to them. Did not work *fail*

    Other than those ?two? instances where I confessed my feelings I’ve never had the courage to go up to a random guy at a club and say ‘hey ur hot can I have your number’. That and I’m lazy, why bother wasting my time, the chances of me connecting with someone on a deeper level based on their attractiveness is low.

    Basically, there has never been anyone really worth chasing. People are crap.

  2. Cpt. Cthulhu ze von Honder sodliedger

    There shouldn’t be any discussion for this, because its makes no sense. No gender should be put into that position of asking as the whole point is to get an answer. The thirst for knowledge should be the only driving force, along who has the bigger balls. Pride? Pfft there’s a reason why its considered a sin.

    Lazy? NO, woman aren’t lazy; your entire spat about that is actually about women asserting their power over men, and thats because you have tits and vagina. Coupled with the insecurity issues that guys have and bingo you got yourself a slaveboy…….. well till some other thing comes by and says that he can put it in the back whenever.

    Btw guys aren’t thick headed, we know your giving off signs its just some guys want to weight their options before heading into a contract of as you say “feed, clothe, transport and then maybe get to see abit of skin for it” also it is soo much easier to play the dumb card; it gets you out of the nity gritty work of the awkward phases till you have a suitable plan of attack after consulting with his peers.

    However there is the select few fools who rush in head strong, and get their heartbroken, cry foul, hate the world and give up. They give guys a bad, pathetic, blog inducing name, don’t mind them.

    all in all, it doesn’t matter what gender you are. your asking the person to find out an answer, its as simple as that.

    • lmao!!! I love your response. Nice to hear a guy’s perspective about this, and I agree that the driving force should be the need to get an answer. I should have included this is in my post to be the paramount issue, but what I was really going for was that despite this need to know an answer, it doesn’t change the fact that there IS some kind of social “expectation” that people seem to have about men approaching women first. Similarly, in family life, who should be taking leave to stay at home to look after the kids? We all know that it should depend on personal circumstances and should have nothing to do with gender, but the fact of the matter is that there’s a social expectation that the woman by default stays at home to look after the children. I’m just making light of this gender role stereotype. My blog isn’t meant to be some philosophical, moral discussion, it’s just a bit of taking the piss and poking fun at guys/girls.

      As for laziness, this was just a joke (though my jokes have some truth behind them) but whilst it may come across as power play and is true to an extent, I think guys do these things not out of insecurity or because girls have power over them, but they do it … just to be nice? And it’s not just between couples, guys help out their girl friends all the time and I dont think it’s to do with insecurity at all. It’s genuinely because girls are lazy and guys (I think) don’t mind driving their friends around.

      And I know I’ve generalised about guys being thickheaded and sure, of course there are guys that also fit your (very nicely done) description. But in my experience, I’ve met a lot of guys who’ve had absolutely NO clue that a girl is into them. I guess that really isn’t a valid justification/argument but OH WELL, I’m sure a lot of guys can attest to being surprised when they found out a girl liked them.

  3. You make a great point about roles being switched at times, but for the most part, don’t you think that women like being approached? I sure do and men love approaching me.

    It’s also a good test to see how much of a man he really is!

    Food for thought…or discussion.


  4. I like what you’re saying here. Yeah i’m used to making the first move, but it is REALLY hot to get asked out for a change. A confident girl who goes for a guy she likes, priceless man.

    However i’ll also add that i do like the chase though, and playing hard to get is also a nice touch sometimes aswell because it just makes you much more of a reward if we have to work to get you right?

    Still, if there’s a guy you’re into, don’t hesitate to make the first move, it’s very attractive woo haha

  1. Pingback: Girls Approaching Guys? | Get Girl Now

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