Apple fanboys make me feel as sick as Steve Jobs
Posted by lildoro
It’s that time of year again – corporate giant Apple creates hype over another product that causes Apple fanboys from all over to join hands and squeal over a piece of aluminium. This time we can accredit this influx to the iPad2. Now, I am nothing close to a technical expert. My computer literacy is hardly anything to brag about (unless I want to brag about how illiterate I am), so I’m not claiming to know more than anyone about the ‘technical’ side of Apple. Therefore, I’m not going to bother talking about why I will never purchase an Apple product. But it doesn’t take a genius to know that I’m being looked down upon by a bunch of geeks who think they’re better than me just because I don’t buy Apple products (I largely blame this on Apple’s cheap marketing campaigns that slagged off Windows – this marketing campaign then somehow warranted real-life Apple users to slag off real-life Windows users, because ads would never lie to us and we should all do what people in ads do.)
I acknowledge the commercial success of Apple and its ability to drive innovation and change, but really, why do hardcore Apple supporters (commonly known as fannboys/fangirls) feel so high and mighty because they’re backing up a commercial success? News flash, you have nothing to do with this success – last I checked, you aren’t an Apple product designer, Apple marketer, or Steve Jobs. All right, that was really unfair of me to say – you contributed to its commercial success by splurging hundreds or thousands of dollars on a shiny Apple product so therefore you are a part of the greatness that is Apple, which has the flow-on effect of making you great. I guess that means I’m a part of the greatness of sliced bread too, since I inject my money into its thriving business, consequently making me great. For crying out loud, yes, I’m aware you own an iPhone (because you can’t stop reminding me) but you didn’t invent the damn thing – stop talking to me as if you have accomplished more in life than me because you purchased an Apple product. Just because a brand you buy is successful, it doesn’t mean you’re successful.
I remember a conversation I had with a girl a few years ago. She was a Windows user and was complaining to me about how her computer was slow. I paraphrase, “It’s because Windows gets so many viruses, but Macs don’t.” I asked her how she would know that if she doesn’t even use a Mac, to which she replied with, “My friend who studies I.T. told me so. He was telling me about all the problems of Windows and how Macs are way better. I hate Windows so much … I can’t believe you’re still using it.”
I couldn’t even contain my shock – a non-Apple-using fangirl? What has this world come to? Never mind the fact that it’s not Windows that causes viruses, it’s a lack of anti-virus software and general stupidity – the fact that this intelligent friend is basing her conversion solely off another fanboy’s unqualified opinion just shows the power and might of fanboys. This is the reason why Apple doesn’t need marketing anymore – its hardcore freaks can just con a bunch of technically-ignorant people who are easily swayed by flowery words and jargon instead.
I believe it’s the arrogance of the fanboys that makes others believe them. Apple fanboys/fangirls feel they’re superior to others, therefore their selling ability is heightened as it gives the impression that they are confident of what they’re talking about, and that they will look down on the rest of us if we don’t leave our families and follow Apple to the end of time. And of course, that little part in all of us takes over – the part that wants to fit in and conform to those who are better than us.
One thing I do admire about fanboys, though, is that they’re very optimistic and can see the good side of every Apple product (also known as bias). For example, the iPad. I know I said I wouldn’t talk about the ‘technical’ side of Apple products but I couldn’t resist. The iPad is pretty to look at and all, but man is it stupid. I don’t know if I’m the only person who thinks it’s stupid, but I’m baffled that despite its uselessness, fanboys can still gush on and on about how magical and wonderful and innovative it is. It’s not innovative – it’s a giant iPhone that can’t call people. What can it do? Play movies in HD, play music, web-browse, show me the news, provide email, offer e-book reading – and it’s portable. And the iPad2? It’s thinner, faster, has two cameras, and a HDMI port apparently. Hey everyone, I’ve got something that can do all that and much more –it’s been around for longer than an iPad, it costs less than an iPad, and it’s called a netbook. As for the camera, lucky I have that one sorted too – I have a real camera that won’t make me look like I’m randomly holding up a picture frame in the air when taking photos. Oh wait, netbooks and cameras don’t allow you to play with Apple apps, silly me. But let’s not forget that Apple fans have an iPhone and/or iPod Touch for that (which coincidentally also has a camera), because let’s face it, only an obsessive Apple fanboy is going to buy an iPad.
And that’s the other thing I admire about Apple. They can pretty much pull off anything, and its loyal brigade of fans will come running after it. I believe this is where the true success of Apple lies – it created its goodwill by making a few good products to lure in its manic fanbase, and then it’s able to pull out something dumb like the iPad because they know their obsessive fanbase will buy it anyway. The iPad’s demand did not arise because of its so-called innovativeness; it arose because Apple’s fans created its own demand. Other brands that followed the tablet suit are only going to fail because they mistakenly believed that there is an actual demand for tablets, when the demand is actually by ‘Apple fanatics’ for ‘Apple products’. I honestly don’t think any non-Apple fans rushed out to get an iPad when it came out, and I bet Apple could come out with a hat with a touch screen on it and the wild pack of fans will still line up outside the Apple Store for hours just to get it. Even better, they’ll probably go on and on about how Apple is so “innovative” for changing the whole headgear industry with its breakthrough invention.
I therefore come to the conclusion that Apple fanboys are the equivalent of Justin Bieber fangirls – they are manically and unhealthily obsessed, they get touchy and overly defensive when what they idolise is criticised, they defend something that doesn’t appreciate the defence, and they simply worship something that they’ll never get to have sex with.
(Note: for the record, I see the merits in many Apple products and don’t hate Apple per se … I just hate the side-effect of obnoxiousness that it burdens society with.)
About lildoroI'm a uni student who procrastinates way too much. I like saying stuff about things.
Posted on March 3, 2011, in Mindless Dribble and tagged annoying, Apple, apple fanboys, fanboys, fangirls, freaks, iPad, iPad 2, iPhone, Macs, Steve Jobs, technology, Windows. Bookmark the permalink. 20 Comments.