Apple fanboys make me feel as sick as Steve Jobs

It’s that time of year again – corporate giant Apple creates hype over another product that causes Apple fanboys from all over to join hands and squeal over a piece of aluminium. This time we can accredit this influx to the iPad2. Now, I am nothing close to a technical expert. My computer literacy is hardly anything to brag about (unless I want to brag about how illiterate I am), so I’m not claiming to know more than anyone about the ‘technical’ side of Apple. Therefore, I’m not going to bother talking about why I will never purchase an Apple product. But it doesn’t take a genius to know that I’m being looked down upon by a bunch of geeks who think they’re better than me just because I don’t buy Apple products (I largely blame this on Apple’s cheap marketing campaigns that slagged off Windows – this marketing campaign then somehow warranted real-life Apple users to slag off real-life Windows users, because ads would never lie to us and we should all do what people in ads do.)

I acknowledge the commercial success of Apple and its ability to drive innovation and change, but really, why do hardcore Apple supporters (commonly known as fannboys/fangirls) feel so high and mighty because they’re backing up a commercial success? News flash, you have nothing to do with this success – last I checked, you aren’t an Apple product designer, Apple marketer, or Steve Jobs. All right, that was really unfair of me to say – you contributed to its commercial success by splurging hundreds or thousands of dollars on a shiny Apple product so therefore you are a part of the greatness that is Apple, which has the flow-on effect of making you great. I guess that means I’m a part of the greatness of sliced bread too, since I inject my money into its thriving business, consequently making me great. For crying out loud, yes, I’m aware you own an iPhone (because you can’t stop reminding me) but you didn’t invent the damn thing – stop talking to me as if you have accomplished more in life than me because you purchased an Apple product. Just because a brand you buy is successful, it doesn’t mean you’re successful.

I remember a conversation I had with a girl a few years ago. She was a Windows user and was complaining to me about how her computer was slow. I paraphrase, “It’s because Windows gets so many viruses, but Macs don’t.” I asked her how she would know that if she doesn’t even use a Mac, to which she replied with, “My friend who studies I.T. told me so. He was telling me about all the problems of Windows and how Macs are way better. I hate Windows so much … I can’t believe you’re still using it.”

I couldn’t even contain my shock – a non-Apple-using fangirl? What has this world come to? Never mind the fact that it’s not Windows that causes viruses, it’s a lack of anti-virus software and general stupidity  – the fact that this intelligent friend is basing her conversion solely off another fanboy’s unqualified opinion just shows the power and might of fanboys. This is the reason why Apple doesn’t need marketing anymore – its hardcore freaks can just con a bunch of technically-ignorant people who are easily swayed by flowery words and jargon instead.

I believe it’s the arrogance of the fanboys that makes others believe them. Apple fanboys/fangirls feel they’re superior to others, therefore their selling ability is heightened as it gives the impression that they are confident of what they’re talking about, and that they will look down on the rest of us if we don’t leave our families and follow Apple to the end of time. And of course, that little part in all of us takes over – the part that wants to fit in and conform to those who are better than us.

One thing I do admire about fanboys, though, is that they’re very optimistic and can see the good side of every Apple product (also known as bias). For example, the iPad. I know I said I wouldn’t talk about the ‘technical’ side of Apple products but I couldn’t resist. The iPad is pretty to look at and all, but man is it stupid. I don’t know if I’m the only person who thinks it’s stupid, but I’m baffled that despite its uselessness, fanboys can still gush on and on about how magical and wonderful and innovative it is. It’s not innovative – it’s a giant iPhone that can’t call people. What can it do?  Play movies in HD, play music, web-browse, show me the news, provide email, offer e-book reading – and it’s portable. And the iPad2? It’s thinner, faster, has two cameras, and a HDMI port apparently. Hey everyone, I’ve got something that can do all that and much more –it’s been around for longer than an iPad, it costs less than an iPad, and it’s called a netbook. As for the camera, lucky I have that one sorted too – I have a real camera that won’t make me look like I’m randomly holding up a picture frame in the air when taking photos. Oh wait, netbooks and cameras don’t allow you to play with Apple apps, silly me. But let’s not forget that Apple fans have an iPhone and/or iPod Touch for that (which coincidentally also has a camera), because let’s face it, only an obsessive Apple fanboy is going to buy an iPad.

And that’s the other thing I admire about Apple. They can pretty much pull off anything, and its loyal brigade of fans will come running after it. I believe this is where the true success of Apple lies – it created its goodwill by making a few good products to lure in its manic fanbase, and then it’s able to pull out something dumb like the iPad because they know their obsessive fanbase will buy it anyway. The iPad’s demand did not arise because of its so-called innovativeness; it arose because Apple’s fans created its own demand. Other brands that followed the tablet suit are only going to fail because they mistakenly believed that there is an actual demand for tablets, when the demand is actually by ‘Apple fanatics’ for ‘Apple products’. I honestly don’t think any non-Apple fans rushed out to get an iPad when it came out, and I bet Apple could come out with a hat with a touch screen on it and the wild pack of fans will still line up outside the Apple Store for hours just to get it. Even better, they’ll probably go on and on about how Apple is so “innovative” for  changing the whole headgear industry with its breakthrough invention.

I therefore come to the conclusion that Apple fanboys are the equivalent of Justin Bieber fangirls – they are manically and unhealthily obsessed, they get touchy and overly defensive when what they idolise is criticised, they defend something that doesn’t appreciate the defence, and they simply worship something that they’ll never get to have sex with.

(Note: for the record, I see the merits in many Apple products and don’t hate Apple per se … I just hate the side-effect of obnoxiousness that it burdens society with.)

More stuff that I say

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About lildoro

I'm a uni student who procrastinates way too much. I like saying stuff about things.

Posted on March 3, 2011, in Mindless Dribble and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 20 Comments.

  1. amen sister! lol

    i hate when i hear mac fanpeople spout that macs dont get viruses cos of that stupid apple vs pc ad, it was totally BS and shows how dumb that “friend that studies IT” is hahaha

    i studied IT, if it runs programs you can create a program to wreak havok, no matter what OS it runs, but hey, as mac gets more popular, more hackers will start targetting macs and leave PCs alone! yay! hahah

    i’d like to see an i(whatever) take photos as good as my camera!

  2. ipad3, coming out in 2013… its got, wait for it…. THREE cameras! =P

    fan-person: “ZOMGOSH I NEED ONE!!!”

  3. Yet another PC user who just can’t fathom the success of Apple, so that they may resort to sitting in front of their shitty PC and moan about things they can never amount to. The reason why Apple is successful is not because of the reasons you suggested – it’s successful because Apple offers people an experience, not just a product. Every competitor of Apple will never achieve the success Apple has, simply because they try too hard to copy Apple’s products while Apple is actually making new things.

    The iPad isn’t stupid. you sound like a person who’s been basing their opinion off pictures of iPads. You really have no right to criticize Apple without first having experienced it. Go buy a Mac or iPod or iPhone and you’ll understand why people support it.

    And using steve as a punchline? Man you are low. He has cancer for crying out loud, you jerk.

    • Yet another Apple fanboy (or girl…?) who can’t fathom their own arrogance. You completely missed the point of my post – my point wasn’t just to spew criticism at Apple, my point was to criticise its overly obnoxious followers. I know Apple is successful as I said many times in my post, so I don’t know what lack of ability to “fathom its suceess” you’re referring to. Your argument as to why Apple is successful is not something I haven’t heard before, so your attempt to enlighten me hasn’t done much. Come up with a new angle please, other than “Apple is successful because it makes technological breakthroughs and it’s the first to do stuff!!!!11” Cut the crap, this isn’t the only reason – the reasons are as detailed in my post (i.e. marketing, marketing by fanboys and the fact that it has a loyal clientele that’ll follow it no matter what).

      The point of my post, that you have completely missed, is that I don’t care that Apple is successful – it doesn’t give people like yourself the right to look down on people like me because I don’t use its products.

      As for the iPad, it is stupid. You’ve failed to give me any reason as to why it isn’t, other than “I haven’t experienced it”. Well, guess what, I don’t need to “experience” murder or rape to know it’s wrong and horrendous (and don’t get your hair in a knot, I’m not comparing using an iPad to murder or rape… or am I?). By the way, I have experienced the iPad… so much for your argument.

      And the title of my post isn’t meant to be a joke … so there is no punchline, I’m afraid.

      PS: thanks for reading my blog and taking the time to comment (I mean that in the sincerest way). Feel free to fuel more discussion.

    • “Apple offers people an experience, not just a product.” Seriously? I think you need to get out of your comfort zone and broaden your horizons. Next time a new Apple product comes out, do yourself a favor and use the money to buy an airplane ticket and book a hotel somewhere far away. See the world. That’s an experience.

  4. to the Gil guy, there are phones way better than the iphone. Performance wise and feature wise. people want the iphone because its popular. this phone is marketed towards women. just as all apple products. every girl i see these days has an apple something or owns eevery ipod and iphone ever made and anxiously waits for the next one. you say apple gives people an experience…yeah they sure do…overpriced products and overpriced accessories. im sure the apple store charges $100 or more for a memory upgrade when i could goto a store and buy it for $25 and install it myself.

    As far as viruses go…i use Windows 7 on all my computers, NEVER get a virus. I also DONT have anti-virus software. if you drop a MAC it will fuck up just as easily as a Windows laptop….their price doesn’t make them more durable. in fact i have a durabook which can withstand falling off a counter and liquid on the keyboard and for the $1300 i paid for it, its well more worth than a mac.

    fanboys and fangirls are stupid. when i tell someone i am going to call them back i simply say, “let me call you right back….” as the author of this post stated, apple fanatics tend to remind us constantly that they own apple products. i hear alot of girls saying, “let me call you right back from my iphone…” its a phone not the messiah. get over it.

    oh and apple fanatics, you bring the hatred on yourselves. the more you praise your lighted apple logo products that are claimed to be the best ever the more haters will talk shit. im quite happy with what i have and i make a seven figure income. i dont need apple to make my life somehow more complete. Windows and Android for me.

    but of course apple products are like boybands. these legions of teenagers and mostly women and geeks will continue to wet themselves everytime apple releases something. i bet if apple created the iToilet and sold it for $4000 these craptastic fanboys would be in line to buy it. FAIL

    apple fanboys/girls = TROLLS

    • Thanks for the insight, I agree. Fanboys/girls are quite the trolls – sometimes it just seems like they’re TRYING to provoke everyone by saying and doing the things they do, but no… it’s all sincere which makes it so much worse…

  5. steve jobs said in a keynote speech about the first ipad that it would replace netbooks. what a load of crap…it doesnt have USB so you cant use a mouse or other device on it, it also doesn’t play flash which many sites use today.

    so what on earth would make me spend $800 on an ipad when my netbook that i paid $300 for does everything I need it to and weight next to nothing? There is nothing you could say that would make me buy one. oh and apple didnt invent touchscreen technology…..windows platforms way before were already using touchscreen technology in scenarios that we the public dont get to see.

    i laugh when i hear apple fanatics tell me there is an app for everything….ok well where is the app to notify one when its time to take a shit, or the step by step guide on how to fuck a donkey…..exactly, dont correct me apple fanatics because your the ones that started this “there’s and app for everything shit.”

  6. Just thought I’d say I own an android an iphone. I prefer android for just about everything expect for browsing the web, The iphone 4 screen is really nice and much more responsive.

    It would be truly amazing if apple allowed flash or better yet allowed andriod to be installed on iphone. I’m the kinda person who likes to ticker around with this and iphone is just way way to locked down and lacks a lot of basic features, having said that what it does do it does well.

  7. =\ I think you really should direct the post at just fanboys in general. I’ve had my share of Android fanboys who’ve looked at my phone and went “but can your phone do THIS?! You can’t? awwwww thats cause you have a crappy iPhone!” I understand that theres god knows how many apple fanboys who piss people off, but its not just the apple fanboys.

    • I’ve yet to experience any other fanboy, other than Apple ones, to put me down for using whatever products I use. I can’t really t write about something I don’t know about, because Apple fanboys are the only ones who go out of their way to piss me off.

      I can’t direct this post at fanboys in general because it’s not about fanboys in general. It’s specifically about Apple – its borderline-defamatory marketing campaigns of which the attitude has spread across to the users, its loyal fanbase who’ll camp outside of the store in the cold just so they can get the new “whatever”, and the products that the fanboys have an undying love.

      I don’t doubt that there are other fanboys who piss people off, but I think it’s just a defence mechanism to the initial fanboy culture created by Apple (trust Apple to be innovative enough to be the developers of a mass fanboy culture). Really, who wants to sit around and take a beating from Apple fanboys? People hate being spat on, and they’re too proud to join the spitters, so they just create their own armies who’ll trod on anyone that’s not in the same faction – including Apple users who are not fanboys, because that’s exactly what the Apple fanboys did to everyone else first.

  8. I’m a big Apple Fanboy and love many of their products (i don’t look down on folks who don’t though). I just have to say I LOVE the point you’re making.
    Touche.

    • Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂 I don’t mind if people love Apple products (I myself love playing with my sister’s iPod Touch) – they’re undoubtedly pretty nice objects. As long as you don’t look down on people who don’t like/use Apple products, then all is dandy.

  9. I have a friend who has an iPhone and I have the Sony Ericson X8. He was trying to show all the things you can do on your iPhone, like some of the games like angry birds (which you can get for the X8! Though he didn’t think so because it wasn’t an iPhone!).

    Now I only use my phone for texting and making calls so I really don’t need the extra features smart phones provide, though I do like them! (By the way I only got the X8 as I have been with my provider for years and they gave it to me for free!)

    But what I found really fascinating was even though his iPhone has had problems making and receiving calls, the fact it was an iPhone somehow made it superior to everything else! He spent ages talking down to me explaining why the iPhone is better!

    First of all, I don’t really care so why bother telling me the high points of your iPhone as if your some sort of sales person when I clearly have no interest in the product? End of the day if you want an iPhone, get one, there’s nothing wrong with that (or the product itself) but why am I treated intellectually incompetent because I don’t want the iPhone?

    I think Aston Martins are the best and nicest cars in the world, but I also appreciate why people might prefer buying a Ferrari or something else. I don’t belittle people because they prefer Ferrari’s or Lamborghini. It’s your own personal TASTE!! Nothing wrong with that!

    Secondly, and most importantly, an iPhone is a phone. If you can’t make calls it’s not a PHONE! It’s just an expensive fancy pager! Now, it could be just his phone happens to be a bad apple (like my pun?!!!), so I appreciate the fact that when a company mass produces an item some items will not perform as expected. (So I’m no way trying to declare that the iPhone is crap)

    But… how arrogant do YOU have to be to declare YOUR phone to be superior when the whole basis of a phone is to MAKE CALLS! Am I the only one that finds this slightly ironic?! Maybe Apple should call its next phone iRONY!

    I wouldn’t have a problem with Apple if it wasn’t for the fact so many of its users that I encounter are like this. This is turning into a religion!

    There is nothing wrong with Apples products or products from another company. Yes there are some good aspects to them and not so good aspects to them. But you get that with ANY product from ANY company!

    End of the day you should not be belittled for not having an iPhone, but you SHOULDN’T also be belittled for having an iPhone either!

  10. I think the reason you see Apple fanboys/girls get so defensive when any criticism is leveled at Apple or Apple products in general is that they think they have bought into some sort of exclusive club that automatically makes them exempt from any dents in their armor. I have never seen people get almost childlike in their defense of what is essentially a worthless gadget that will be irrelevant in a few years anyways.

    It all boils down to this culture of “I” that Apple has created and the followers tend to reflect the creators. It has created a self-centered consumer environment, living in a very narrow bubble, obsessed with a sense of self. The newest and latest gadgets constantly help reinforce this.

    Apple used to be the brand of the rebel, to “think different” and yet they have become the most locked down, big brother, do it our way or the highway company in the world. They are the exact opposite of what they were making fun of in their original introduction of the Macintosh, in the famous 1984 Super Bowl commercial. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

    Now while a company like Microsoft can be just as bad at times (and it has been many times, if not worse) I still appreciate their rather more open approach. A quote from a Microsoft developer recently: “At the end of the day, the customer is in control of their PC. Microsoft’s philosophy is to provide customers with the best experience first, and allow them to make decisions themselves.”

    I can appreciate that much more than Apple’s approach. Where your options are essentially locked down and you have minimal wiggle room or customization options.

    For example, when someone tells me how fugly the Windows user interface is….I agree!!! The default OS interface does absolutely nothing for me. But you know what? I can change it. Head over to Deviant Art and see all the talented creative people doing amazing things with skins and themes for their Windows 7 installs…and sharing them with everybody else! That to me is enabling “creativity” and “imagination” much more than the army of Mac drones who can rarely be more creative than logging into Facebook or following what their friends recommend to them.

    I am a graphic artist, a web developer, film maker and musician. It bugs me to no end when I hear the Mac herd say, “Macs do graphics/music/video better than PC’s.” Bullshit. Does the Mac shoot better video for you? Does it write a better storyboard for you? Does it make you a better guitar player? Does it give you an inherent talent that you didn’t have otherwise? No. No. And No. You are still a little no talent douche who thinks you have bought your way into some exclusive club.

    This excessive fanboy/girl-ism bugs the shit out of me. I could care less what tool you use, don’t think it makes you a better or more creative person than someone else who doesn’t use the same set of tools. Show me the RESULTS, the content you produce, the product of your so- called “creativity.” It’s as if a bunch of grown adults have reverted to their childlike state “my Tonka truck is better than yours.” Do you think Ernest Hemmingway and William Faulkner shot letters back and forth arguing about what particular typewriter was “better” and that “better” writers used their particular brand? They are tools, nothing more.

  11. It’s nice to see someone who isn’t exactly a full-blown tech geek understand why some geeky people dislike Apple. 😀

    On another note, I really like your blog.

    +1 random interweb subscriber/follower.

  12. Great article fella, glad i’m not the only person who feels this way.

    I personally don’t own any apple product nor do I wish too. I would rather spend my money else where and get better value. Take the humble ipod for example, a basic 16gb version last christmas cost £120 yet for a full £40 less you can get a Sony Walkman 16gb. Now that sort of price difference is a hell of a lot for some people. Now i’m not bashing the ipod, i’m sure it’s a great piece of kit, but when you can have something that does the same for a lot less money then i’m there.

    I could rant for longer but would only be perpetuating the point.

    Cheers

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