Pretending to be a lesbian doesn’t make you cool

I don’t know about you, but I don’t get it when girls pretend to be lesbians/bisexuals when they aren’t. Sometimes I see girls who post pictures of themselves making out or being suggestive with other girls (whilst sober…?) but declare themselves as straight. I might also see straight girls who set their relationship status on Facebook to being in a relationship/married to another girl “just for fun” and then live an online life of being a lesbian whilst living a real life of being straight.

I have come to the conclusion that there can only be two possible reasons for girls faking a relationship:

1) They are lonely; and/or
2) They are seeking attention.

Let’s discuss the people who change their relationship status from “single” or from “not specified” to being in a relationship with some girl, when they really aren’t. Apparently they do this “for fun” or something, according to the claims of some offenders. Am I the only person who doesn’t see the “fun” in lying to everyone, even though everyone knows it’s a lie? Playing video games is fun. Sleeping is fun. Going on mass murder rampages is fun. But if you find being in a fake online relationship is fun, I think you need a bit of a life. If it’s meant to be a joke, then I fail to see the punchline. Oh wait, I know the punchline – the joke is that you’re actually in a relationship with someone! The only way you would ever be with anyone is by faking it … oh the hilarity!!

Another variation of reasoning is “Because I want people to stop hitting on me”. Okay … so instead of growing a backbone and actually rejecting people, you’re going to be in a fake relationship where 99.99% of people already know it’s fake anyway. Way to go. And if you don’t want people to know that you’re single, there’s a very simple way of solving this – don’t specify your relationship status!

Another excuse is that the two girls are such close friends that they want to express it as some sort of virtual romantic relationship. Snore. If two people were really good friends, they don’t need public recognition in the form of a lie. If two people were really good friends, why do they need to call it something else like marriage or a relationship?

So why do we all have to put up with a bunch of deluded people pretending to be in love online, even though the thought of the pretenders touching each other in real life disgusts them?

At least she can admit it…

The reason is – it’s not for “fun” or for any other lame excuse. It’s because people are crying out for attention. Really, everyone knows a lesbian relationship is bound to get some sort of reaction (especially from guys). Even if it’s obviously fake, people are still going to respond to the relationship status with some stupid sleazy and/or smart arse remark, such as “Can I watch?”. And of course, the status changer is looking for this type of reaction. They can’t get attention for anything worth getting attention, so they resort to playing pretend.

What’s more, if it really is just a bit of fun, why do they need to do it on Facebook where  everyone can see? Why not just smother each other with fake lesbian love in real life and spare us all from your delusions? As stated before, it’s because they want everyone to see and they want people to respond to it – I guess showing love and appreciation in private is just overrated now, and showing love and appreciation isn’t worthwhile unless someone else sees it.

If attention seeking is not the reason, then there is another reason: they’re sick of seeing that “single” status on their profile, but since they can’t find a real partner, they’re just going to pick a friend who is equally as lonely. And then they’ll both be lonely with each other and just act like they’re together to make themselves feel good – all online of course, since they’re most likely to be straight anyway, but faking a straight relationship with someone else is unheard of for some reason.

I mean,  do you ever see a straight girl change their status to being in a relationship with a guy when they’re not really in a relationship? No, of course not! And if a girl was to pretend to be in a relationship with a guy and everyone found out it was fake, would everyone react the same way as they would to a girl being in a fake lesbian relationship? No, everyone would be thinking “what the hell?”

The point is, pretending to be in a relationship with someone on the internet isn’t going to fill that empty void you feel from being single. I hate it when people play “pretend” on the Internet and forge some imaginary relationship just to make themselves feel secure and wanted (kind of like the stupid brother-sister thing). If you really do want to have a fake relationship with another girl to make yourself feel wanted, go hire a hooker.

And then of course, there is the inverse – girls who act like lesbians in real life (most likely for posing in provocative photos), but will deny being in a relationship because they’re actually straight. Where is the fun in this? Of course, it’s for the exact same reason as the Facebookers who pretend to be in a relationship – because they crave attention, most probably from guys who love seeing lesbian action (as an aside, I don’t particularly understand the reasoning as to why guys are turned on by lesbians, but I guess that’s just how the  world is) or because they’re just lonely and want to feel wanted, even if it’s for just a second.

And just for the record, I’m not having a go at lesbians. I don’t have a problem with real lesbians/bisexuals, just the fake straight ones who pretend to be something they aren’t for attention. If you’re going to fake being a lesbian/bisexual, you could at least not do it in a half-assed fashion by being all talk no action, or all action and no talk. Run the full mile and lesbianise yourself properly! Seriously, what’s the point of doing these things and then taking it back by saying “Actually, I’m straight” and then getting offended when people talk about it. There is no such thing as a part-time lesbian.

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About lildoro

I'm a uni student who procrastinates way too much. I like saying stuff about things.

Posted on September 29, 2011, in Biased opinions about relationships, Mindless Dribble and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I agree with you 110%!! You are on target! I am going to share with my 13 yr old that just did this very thing and I took the “status” down!!!

  2. Oh my god, YES. I am so glad there are people out there who feel similar to me. It’s so true that there is no such thing as a fake straight relationship. I find it offensive in the most disgusting way, being a lesbian myself. I will never understand people.

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